life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
please come you make the beer taste better
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
