Where are you?
In a non slutty way
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
