roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
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That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
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Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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