9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
