who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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