I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
