Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
