you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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