are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
