At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
