sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
i think im in europe. pls send help
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
