So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Randomize
