barbara walters just said penis...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
organizing the empties. That sober.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
