Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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