Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
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Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
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Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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