i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
do nipples grow back?
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