There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
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Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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