dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
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Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
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... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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