Rock
Scissors
Fuck
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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