she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
