She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
