only if we run a train.
done.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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