I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
