I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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