That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
