i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
