Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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