so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
