i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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