Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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