So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
