I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
