Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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