I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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