Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Let's paint friendship bongs
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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