I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize