hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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