just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
