You smell like stripper and shame
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
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He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
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What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.