She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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