maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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