then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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