i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
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Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
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SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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