the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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