Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
