She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
