Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
