Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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