they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
