Fine. I'll sleep in my office
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Dating After Heartbreak
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care