My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
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I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.