Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
