Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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