I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
