Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
