Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
