I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
