I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
