I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Vodka?
Forever.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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