Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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