Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
