I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
