white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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