Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize