she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize