I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
she was so not down for the gang bang
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
