your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
